Lessons for My Son

I’m lying here tonight anxiously awaiting Luke’s arrival. I’m trying to think of lessons I want to teach him on how to be a man. Here are a few I’ve come up with.

• Treat people kindly, even when they cannot do anything for you. That’s the true measure of a good man.

• Look a man in the eye when you shake his hand. Use a firm grip, but don’t try to prove your strength by crushing his hand. It makes you look small.

• Honor your word.

• Remember the men who carried your last name before you, and do not dishonor them.

• It is okay to say no. You do not have to explain why.

• Take risks. There has never been a great man who was too scared to do anything daring. Never.

• People will tell you who they are through their actions, not their words. Believe them when they do.

• Stand for what you believe in, even when it costs. The price of being a coward is much, much higher.

• Do not fall into the trap of believing you have reached a point in any area of your life that there is nothing more for you to learn. There always is.

• What people think of you matters, but it never matters enough to sacrifice who you are or what you believe in to appease them.

• Do not tell people how great you are at anything. Just be great. They will know.

• You are responsible for yourself and your family, and no one else is. You are not entitled to anything.

• No piles of riches or mountains of gold can fulfill you like the love of a family at home. Work hard to provide for them and give them the things they deserve, but never forget to make time for them, too.

• If you become successful, people will make it seem like fate handed it to you. They will sweep under the rug the years of struggle and the gallons of sweat. They will give you convenient labels like “lucky.” They do this because if it is luck and not hard work that made you successful, then it is not their fault that they have not achieved or done as much as you. It is about letting themselves off the hook. But you will never be lucky. If you win at life, it will be because you worked your ass off for it. Do not fall into that self-pitying bear trap of thinking anything more than your own work ethic and ambition has any effect on what you become. Put your nose to the grindstone and get things done.