Selling your home is a stressful endeavor no matter who you are, but when you’re a cop, it can be a little more so.  You’re inviting strangers into your home when you aren’t there.  Pictures of your family adorn the walls, your weapons are easily available, and your home could be open to criminals you’ve locked up in the past. Make your home more secure by following these easy steps: 1.  Take Down Family Photos This has multiple benefits, the least of which isn’t protecting your family from anyone who may recognize you in the photos and then have your address, the layout of your home, and a good idea of what your family looks like.   Additionally, it allows any non-nefarious potential buyer to see their own family inside your home, to picture their family hanging on the walls, and really envision themselves living there.    Most good real estate agents will tell you to do this anyway, but it’s especially important for LE families. 2.  Park the Patrol Car Elsewhere Your squad is a beacon to criminals, and criminals buy houses, too. If you have a take-home you can significantly lower the chances of being burned at home by parking at the precinct or other off-site location and driving in.  I know it’s a hassle, but it’s only briefly while you sell.   3.  Secure Your Weapons I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve walked into a law enforcement officer’s home when it was listed and seen guns lying out unsecured.  This is a huge liability risk for you.  Parents bring children to see homes all the time, and one careless moment from a parent or an inattentive agent can mean disaster for not only the family involved but also you, the homeowner.  That is definitely one “Dear Chief…’ letter you don’t want to write. Now that was an absolute worst-case scenario, but theft is also a possibility. Securing your weapons in a gun safe is ideal.  If you don’t have one, check with a buddy who does to see if you can store some stuff in his, or maybe check with your department to see if you can secure them at work.   Whatever you do, don’t leave them lying out on a bedside table, loaded, with one in the pipe.  That’s just asking for trouble. 4.  Take Down the Hero Wall Police love to put awards, plaques, blue line flags, and memorabilia on the walls of their home.  Go ahead and strip that down.  It will help keep you from being identified as LE, and it will also help the potential buyers with the visualization stuff I mentioned above. 5.  Hide or Remove Your Uniforms Keep your uniforms at work and dress in the locker room if possible.  If it’s not, have them ready to grab and go and put them in the car while you vacate the premises for a showing.  Your uniform is a plethora of intel for any potential scumbags who enter your home.  First, it alerts them to your career, which might trigger them to look for things like weapons, badges, ID cards, etc.  It also gives them information like your name, your department, and even the hours you work if your department has differing uniforms of the day based on shift.  Another possibility is hanging them in the owner’s closet I mention below.  6.  Make Sure Your Badge, Holsters, Duty Belt, and Any ID cards are Secured There are a lot of ways to out yourself and these all count, but these items also represent a dangerous opportunity for theft of extremely sensitive pieces.  You definitely don’t want to find yourself tracking down a badge after a day full of house showings.  Chalk this one under “Dear Chief…” letters you don’t want to write, too.  This one is another candidate for that owner’s closet, which brings me to… 7.  Consider an Owner’s Closet Have you ever stayed at a condo rental on the beach?  Ever notice that one closet with a lockable doorknob on it?  That’s what is traditionally called an owner’s closet. It’s where the owners of the condo store their personal effects so that when they come to stay in their own condo, they don’t have to lug tons of stuff with them. You can make one in your own home quickly and easily by grabbing a lockable doorknob from Home Depot or Lowes.  Swap it out for the doorknob on a small coat closet somewhere in your home.  Make sure the key is different than the key that opens your exterior doors.   Once that is done, you can simply load everything you don’t want out in the open, like gear and uniforms, into that closet, lock it, and you won’t have to worry about it nearly as much. 8.  Insist on an Electronic Lockbox An electronic lockbox is accessed by an app on a real estate agent’s phone.  Access to the app is tightly controlled by their association or board.  It’s not like a mechanical lockbox where a lazy agent can give the code to clients to let themselves in.  For this one, the agent has to physically open the box himself or herself.  I use a Supra iBox.  This particular system connects to the agent’s phone or an electronic key and emails the listing agent the moment it is accessed with the contact information of the person who opened it.  This gives us valuable data to know who is going in and out of your home and a pretty solid way to track down any troublemakers should something go wrong. The iBox also has a feature called a Call Before Showing (CBS) Code that requires a specific code the agent accessing the box must get from your listing agent. It adds another step to the process and makes things more difficult, so agents who lack understanding of your security concerns will often disable it, allowing anyone with the app to access your home unannounced.  I employ the use of the CBS code on all my occupied listings, and I take special care to ensure it’s active on those iBoxes attached to my highly sensitive clients. Additionally, mechanical lockboxes are very easily defeated, whereas a Supra iBox is not.  In fact, the iBox is designed, so that attempts to pry it open result in the carrier inside, which holds the key, folding in on itself and entombing the key. Agents who do not utilize the electronic lockbox system make that choice for many reasons, but the most common I hear is the expense.  The Supra iBox isn’t cheap, but it’s a worthwhile investment to protect my clients, in my opinion.   Stay away from cheap agents. 9.  Make Sure Your Realtor Understands Your Security Concerns Most real estate agents have little or no background in personal security. They do not understand the dangers you (and your family) face as a law enforcement professional.  Many would dismiss you as paranoid for asking that these extra security precautions be put in place.  Some might even innocently out you by putting into publicly viewable remarks that the house belongs to a law enforcement officer, hoping to attract people who realize that you probably take really good care of your stuff and have no idea how much of a target that makes your home. I highly recommend you hire a real estate agent like me, who comes from your world.  I spent 12 years on the job, so I get it.  I would love to interview for the role of your real estate agent in the Valley, and if we aren’t a good fit, I know several other realtors in the area with law enforcement experience to whom I can introduce you.  Please reach out if I can help you in any way.

There is a pervasive problem in the real estate industry with regards to VA Loans.  Many real estate agents just don’t understand them, and people fear what they do not understand.  I know many agents, and I interact with thousands of them online.  Every day, I see them talk negatively about VA Loans.  Why? Mostly urban myths.  Real estate agents often believe common misconceptions about VA Loans which they believe make them harder to close than others.  It’s often thought that VA appraisals result in lower values for the home, or they carry ridiculous property condition requirements.  It can be quite discouraging for someone looking for a new home if they are working with an agent who doesn’t understand the VA requirements for a property.   Hiring an agent who is well-versed in the VA loan product and who can introduce you to an experienced VA lender is extremely important.  An agent experienced with VA loans can find potential issues on houses before you even make an offer.  Your agent and loan officer can work together to educate a listing agent and help them understand the loan product to greatly increase the chances that your offer can be competitive.   Personally, I’ve made helping buyers with VA Loans a large part of my business.  It’s a natural fit since most of my clients are first responders and veterans.  The experience I’ve gleaned over the years has allowed me to help VA buyers win against other loan products by educating the listing agent on the truth about how VA loans work.  If you need help or have questions about the process in the Valley, please contact me.  I’m here for you.

Your talents and skillsets are a part of what will make you successful for sure. But, the truest judge of your potential is your MINDSET. People build roadblocks along their thought highways, and those roadblocks set subconscious limitations. If you get too close to one, your brain kicks into hyperdrive, reciting all the ways you can fail. It screams at you to go another, safer way. These mental roadblocks are just enough to turn away most people and get them back in line with the status quo of what is expected of them. They remain prisoners of the perceptions of others and themselves.The first step to breaking through these roadblocks is recognizing them and the challenges they pose for you. These mental roadblocks are insidiously built. You are brainwashed by your surroundings beginning at an early age to believe certain limitations about yourself. They become so ingrained into our very fabric that we don’t even question them. The little voice in your head telling you that you aren’t smart enough, skilled enough, or even worthy of success begins early in life as snide, sometimes well-meaning, but always harmful comments from teachers, coworkers, and yes, even friends and family. Those words proliferate into a belief system you have about yourself that puts limits on your abilities, at least in your mind. To conquer them, you must recognize them and how to retrain your brain to drive straight through them. Learn to recognize these 7 ways YOU hold yourself back: 1. Your self-doubt prevents you from taking action. American writer Suzy Kassem once said, “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” I believe that wholeheartedly. It is one of the most formative statements on my philosophy for living life. When I overcame my self-doubt, I was truly set free.Let me ask you, when the last time you met a successful person who told you what they couldn’t do was? I don’t know that I’ve ever seen or heard someone I truly considered successful put limits on themselves. In truth, most of them seem to OVERESTIMATE their abilities and then rise to the occasion. Shake off your doubts and dare to believe that you can be successful. You’ll ultimately prove yourself right. 2. You refuse to let others help you. Life is a team sport. The sooner you realize that the better off you will be. This was one area I struggled with for a long time. I convinced myself that asking for help made me look weak, so I never did it. In fact, to my detriment, I often let things get way out of hand when a simple request of a friend would’ve solved the problem.I’ll let you in on a secret. People WANT to help you, especially those who already know, like, and trust you. People generally enjoy doing things for others. I believe it is encoded deep into our DNA, a throwback to when we could not survive without helping each other. I know it seems like successful people have it all together and don’t need help. But, truly successful people have learned to leverage the help of others to maximize their effectiveness.If you want to truly be successful, get help! There are plenty of people out there willing and able. And, like Tim McGraw sings, “When you get where you’re going, don’t forget, turn back around, and help the next one in line.” 3. You think you lack the necessary education. Look, unless you’re going to be a rocket scientist or a cardiothoracic surgeon, formal education is probably not necessary to be successful. I’ve already told you your mindset is an essential part of success. You’ve been educated your entire life by your experiences. I learned how to sell talking drunk guys into handcuffs without violence. Those experiences were way more educational for me than four years of college would ever be.The percentage of highly successful people who dropped out of high school or college is staggering. Let’s look at a few. Have you ever heard of Steve Jobs? Dropped out of college. Mark Zuckerberg? Dropped out of college. Rachel Ray? She never had ANY formal culinary arts education. Dave Thomas (founder of Wendy’s)? Never finished high school. The list goes on and on and on. Do not let your lack of education hold you back. Learn what you need to learn to achieve your goals. The Library of Alexandria, in ancient times, the most extensive collection of knowledge in a single place, contained roughly 400,000 scrolls. Today, the phone in your pocket contains the entirety of human knowledge. You can literally learn almost anything you need to from the palm of your hand! 4. You think your competitors are better than you are. It is a natural tendency to focus on the success of others and see their strengths. Especially if you are, consciously or subconsciously, trying to undermine your own. While we tend to underestimate ourselves, we also tend to overestimate our competition. Your “competition” is probably getting more credit from you than they deserve, even if they really are good.Remember, winners focus on winning. Losers focus on winners. Put your head down and do the work necessary to reach your goals. You might just beat your competition to the finish line. 5. You lack the belief that your goals are reachable. The most significant failures don’t come from aiming too high and missing. They come from aiming too low and hitting. Set lofty goals. Unreasonable ones. Impossible ones. Why? Because if you dare to chase impossible dreams, you might just surprise yourself. Your shoot-for-the-moon goals shouldn’t be your only ones, mind you. You should have some “normal” goals, too, so that you get the psychological benefit of reaching them. But do not let anyone tie a rock to your balloon. Nothing is stopping you from reaching the highest highs, and anyone who tells you differently is an energy vampire unworthy of being in your life. 6. You’re afraid to confront the reality of who you are. When you put yourself out there, you will discover your shortcomings. It’s not a matter of if but when. Everyone has those, though. I have plenty, for sure. Certainly, you do too.If you sit on the bench, it’s easy to mask your deficiencies. However, when you are in the arena where the crowd can see, those shortcomings will come out. Are you afraid everyone else will see? Are you afraid you will? So what? I’ve failed more times than I can count. I can tell you from experience that people only remember the things I’ve done that found success, but I could fill volumes of bad ideas and failed ventures.What if you do have what it takes to be successful? How will you know if you don’t give it your best shot? So what if you fail? Fail again. And again. And again. And then succeed. The success is all they will remember anyway. 7. You believe that you don’t have time. Repeat after me: “I have time, but it is just not a priority for me.” That’s what you’re really saying whenever you claim you don’t have time. A lack of time is a convenient excuse for people who lack commitment. Do you lack commitment? Is your goal a priority? Then stop making excuses and make it happen!You control your thoughts, and your thoughts control you. So, change your thoughts to change your life. Destroy these mental roadblocks. Conquer your self-doubts, allow others to help you, learn what you need to learn, stop focusing on your competition, believe you can achieve your goals, confront who you are, and MAKE TIME FOR YOUR DREAMS! You CAN do it!

I used to work a 9-5. Well, sort of. I had a set schedule, and it was overnight twelve-hour shifts. I worked for the man. And I took what scraps “the man” threw me along the way. And I performed, too. I did what I did at a high level. But, what did that get me? An occasional attaboy at most. It didn’t help my bank account. It didn’t help my future. My children aren’t better off because of it. What was the point?I punched a clock for almost all of my adult life. I graciously accepted poor working conditions and backstabbing “leaders” so that every two weeks like clockwork, money magically appeared in my bank account. Then, in 2013, I started a Facebook page because I was bored one day. There were few people doing that back in those days, and I quickly built a loyal following. One day a few months later, one of those loyal followers commented, “You should put that on a shirt.” That follower will never know how grateful I am. Hell, I don’t even remember his name. But, once I read it, a light bulb clicked, and in that instant, I became an entrepreneur. Over the next eighteen months, I sold t-shirts. A lot of them. I got bored and sold the company for what was at the time a significant amount of money to me. Then I started another business. And another. And another. Some worked, some failed, but my mind never stopped looking for the next angle. I would and still do wake up in the middle of the night unable to deviate from whatever new idea has consumed me. It is a blessing and a curse. That first business will always hold a special place in my heart. I call it my Slide Hustle, a business I started while working for the man that set me free and let me slide out of the prison I was in and set myself on a path to freedom. In June 2015, I left that “9-5” and have been totally dependent on my own ability to generate revenue for five years. For almost four of those, I have carried the livelihood of my entire family on my back, with my wife staying at home to take on the monumental task of raising our children. It has been incredibly stressful. There have been months where I thought I would go bankrupt, and there have been moments when I’ve made more money in a day than I’d previously made in a year. I’ve had to break myself down, crush my insecurities, admit my failures, and overcome my own self-doubt. It has been one hell of a ride. Over the last few years, I’ve been offered a few jobs. Most of them at least six figures. They offer a comfortable life, a set schedule, a nice 401k, even a little vacation time now and then. But, I escaped the life of a prisoner of my wages. I couldn’t go back. It would kill me. I have tasted the freedom of operating independently of the input of anyone else, and that liberation has ruined me.I’m an entrepreneur, hell-bent on making myself into something. I WILL change my family tree, leaving my children much better off than I was when I started. I WILL succeed. I WILL leave my mark. It is not something that remains to be seen, but rather a veritable certainty through sheer force of will. I want to welcome you to my website. Here, I will discuss things like being a good husband, being a good father, and making sound decisions that affect your future. With the help of other contributors, I will teach you how to be successful. And, if you want, together we will take you from the JOB you have to the LIFE you want.

I’m lying here tonight anxiously awaiting Luke’s arrival. I’m trying to think of lessons I want to teach him on how to be a man. Here are a few I’ve come up with. • Treat people kindly, even when they cannot do anything for you. That’s the true measure of a good man. • Look a man in the eye when you shake his hand. Use a firm grip, but don’t try to prove your strength by crushing his hand. It makes you look small. • Honor your word. • Remember the men who carried your last name before you, and do not dishonor them. • It is okay to say no. You do not have to explain why. • Take risks. There has never been a great man who was too scared to do anything daring. Never. • People will tell you who they are through their actions, not their words. Believe them when they do. • Stand for what you believe in, even when it costs. The price of being a coward is much, much higher. • Do not fall into the trap of believing you have reached a point in any area of your life that there is nothing more for you to learn. There always is. • What people think of you matters, but it never matters enough to sacrifice who you are or what you believe in to appease them. • Do not tell people how great you are at anything. Just be great. They will know. • You are responsible for yourself and your family, and no one else is. You are not entitled to anything. • No piles of riches or mountains of gold can fulfill you like the love of a family at home. Work hard to provide for them and give them the things they deserve, but never forget to make time for them, too. • If you become successful, people will make it seem like fate handed it to you. They will sweep under the rug the years of struggle and the gallons of sweat. They will give you convenient labels like “lucky.” They do this because if it is luck and not hard work that made you successful, then it is not their fault that they have not achieved or done as much as you. It is about letting themselves off the hook. But you will never be lucky. If you win at life, it will be because you worked your ass off for it. Do not fall into that self-pitying bear trap of thinking anything more than your own work ethic and ambition has any effect on what you become. Put your nose to the grindstone and get things done.

I love this little girl, my sweet daughter. She is smart, funny, easygoing, and clearly beautiful. I know, without hesitation, I would trade my life for hers. She will grow up knowing I love her, and I will do anything to keep her safe and to provide her with a good, stable life. She will always know she is one of the most important people in my life. But, she will also know she will never be the most important person in my life. Her mother holds that spot. Controversial these days, I know, but hear me out. As fathers, men, we are the standard by which our daughters will judge all other men. In her future relationships, the worthiness of her boyfriends and eventually her husband will be weighed against how I treated her mother. If she learns through our relationship that disrespect and cruelty are normal, she will expect and tolerate it. If from us she learns that respect and kindness and honesty and fairness and loyalty and understanding are what is to be expected, then she will DEMAND it from the man she will one day marry. What better way to teach her how to choose him than to show her through our own relationship that she should be the most important thing in his life? How much more of a service to her is it to prepare her for a life that will hopefully last sixty or seventy years beyond when she leaves home? Many years ago, my childhood pastor, Roy Hill, preached a sermon on this. I couldn’t have been more than thirteen or fourteen years old at the time, but I still remember it. He told us that his children were never allowed to interrupt when he and his wife were showing each other affection. When they sat close together on the couch watching television, their children were not allowed to wiggle between them. When they hugged, the kids were made to wait their turn. I always believed it was a powerful image to project to your children that nothing could come between their dad and mom. It is my belief, men, that the best thing you can do for your daughter is to love her mom and always treat her with respect. Now, I know that life sometimes happens, and moms and dads cannot always stay together. The principals remain, though. You can still make the choice to speak well of her mother, to be respectful of your children’s relationship with her, and not run her down every time you get the chance. I’m sure it’s difficult sometimes, but if you think of it not as speaking well of your ex, but as building a better future for your little girl, maybe it would be easier.

When every single survival instinct was screaming run away, they ran toward automatic gunfire. Think about that. Despite all the protests, all the vitriol, all the hate and false accusations, Las Vegas Metro Police charged toward gunfire, two of them taking rounds in the process, risking their lives for strangers. These are the police officers I know. In the twelve years I was a police officer, I saw acts of selflessness and bravery over and over and over again. I can honestly and with a clear conscience say that I never, not once, saw someone abused for the color of their skin, their beliefs or ideals, or any other quantifier you can use to categorize people. But, I saw men and women charging into dangerous situations to protect others while everyone else ran more times than I can count. I’m not talking about news articles or clips from some distant city. I’m talking about in Alabaster and Bibb County. Places where I patrolled, and men and women I patrolled with. I’m damned sick and tired of the media demonizing police to line their pockets. This photo right here is the true representation of law enforcement in America.

Eight months ago, just before the effective date of my resignation from my former employer, I was injured in the line of duty. The injury seemed relatively minor, nothing more than a tweaked wrist on my dominant side. The worker’s comp doctor assured me it was just a deep bone bruise and nothing to worry about. I went through with my resignation and moved 1800 miles across the country in a leap of faith to join my now-wife in her home state. After being in Arizona for a couple of months, the wrist still hadn’t healed. I contacted worker’s comp, and they found a local specialist to send me to see. Two days before a scheduled PT test with a department out here I learned that my wrist had a torn ligament that would require surgery and nine months of recovery. Knowing that no agency would hire me if they found out how much light duty I would need over my first year, I had no choice but to drop out of the hiring process. I suppose I could’ve kept it to myself, gotten the job, then told them after, but as a police officer integrity is paramount. That was never really an option. Fast forward a few months, and I still haven’t had the surgery. I’ve decided to establish myself in another profession, one I can handle in a cast to the shoulder, and then get my wrist fixed so that I can support my family while I’m down. I’m likely sidelined for at least another year before I can pin on a badge if I ever can again. After being a cop most all of my adult life, experiencing life away from law enforcement has led me to some real revelations. Here are a few: 1. There is life absent police work I thought policing was my life, that I would never be whole or happy without it. That’s not true.   I don’t need a badge to be happy. It was and is a very important and influencing part of who I am. It is not all I am, though. It never has been. I had lost sight of that, I think. I’m not just a cop. I am a husband, a son, a brother. Those things are so much more important than being a cop. If and when I return to the job, it is my vow not to forget that. 2. Hypervigilance is exhausting It took a few months, but I’m no longer constantly looking over my shoulder. My eyes don’t scan quite as much as they used to do. Not every person that walks through the door is first considered a threat before a friend. Don’t get me wrong, my head isn’t in the sand or anything, but I’ve noticed a decrease in my level of over-alertness. It has been refreshing to say the least. Feeling relaxed more than I feel alert is pretty good. Foreign and weird, but good. I glance at the door now when someone walks in as opposed to sizing them up. My shoulders are less tense. I laugh so much more. My guard is still never really down, but I do lower it some. 3. I sleep better I still only need five or six hours of sleep. That’s just who I’ve always been. The sleep is more restful now, though. I don’t awaken feeling tired. The bags under my eyes have gone away. My eyelids don’t get heavy, and I don’t drink five cups of coffee a day anymore to stay alert. Even when I find a reason to stay awake through the night, I don’t really need an extra kick to make that happen.   It is amazing what good sleep will do for you. 4. No one spits in my food It’s not even a concern. I don’t think about it. I don’t worry about it. I treat food service workers with respect and give them no reason to dislike or hate me. Even if they are anti-police, I’m in a new state where no one knows me. I am an anonymous face, and I don’t wear a flashy uniform that invites people to hate me just because of it. I don’t even check my food for spit anymore! How crazy is that? 5. Excitement is extremely hard to come by After twelve years in law enforcement, I’ve seen and done some crazy things. You guys know what I’m talking about. Where most people get their occasional adrenaline dump from someone nearly sideswiping them or witnessing a bar fight, that kind of thing barely makes us raise an eyebrow. It takes something pretty significant to get our blood flowing, and the chances of me getting that now are all but nil. It sort of sucks, to be honest. I guess I’ll have to take up skydiving. 6. There aren’t as many stupid people in the world as I thought there were When you deal primarily with criminals and ne’er-do-wells day in and day out, year in and year out, you begin to think that all of society is stupid. It’s not. Most of the smart people are too busy taking care of their families, putting food on the table, and making a good life for themselves to do dumb things that get the police called. When you stop working with the dregs of society and start rubbing elbows with successful people, you realize that there are a lot of really intelligent people who do really well for themselves out there. This is going to come as a huge shock to you, but good, hardworking, intelligent people outweigh those you routinely deal with by a pretty wide margin. It’s not even close. 7. The pull of brotherhood is strong I don’t talk to the guys as much as I’d like to talk to them. It’s not their fault. I don’t call them as much as I should. Even when we do talk, it isn’t the same. “How’s the weather in Arizona?” isn’t nearly as fun a question to answer as “Did that guy really literally shit his pants when you hooked him?” The men and women I worked with and I formed bonds of blood, sweat, and tears. We were tested in ways most people aren’t. We fought together, against the criminals, the outside world, and certain segments of the department (cough *admin* cough). When it seemed that everyone hated us, we still had each other. There is nothing like that connection in the civilized world. The thin blue line is a real and powerful thing. I miss it. All in all, I’ve enjoyed my time away. I’ve had some new adventures, read a good book or two (not really, but I’ve really done some damage on Netflix), and convinced a wonderfully beautiful woman to be my wife. I’ve made new friends that I’m sure will be friends for life. My batteries are recharged, and if I decide to go back, I’ll be better because of it. If I don’t, I’ll have memories few people have, and I’ll always have a story to tell. I don’t regret a minute of being a cop, but I’m not devastated about not being one either. I honestly don’t know which path I’ll choose, but I’ll be okay either way, which is a really good thing to know. For those of you out there on watch while I’m away, try to be safe, but if you cannot be safe, win.